Re: Texts From Last Night

by **Ellie Volkova** Wed Feb 25, 2015 11:23 pm

Ellie to Alona, Emma, and Patrick
"I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday"

Ellie to Alona
"Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?"

Ellie to Emma
"Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it."

Ellie to Patrick
"Rule: travel in twos or put an ankle monitor on me. And maybe a shock collar."

by **Alona Andrews** Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:51 am

Alona to Ellie
"Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him."

Alona to Andy
"At least we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list."

by **Kieran Richards** Thu Feb 26, 2015 3:14 pm

Kieran to Ellie and Andy
"I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?"

by **Juliette Carlson** Fri Feb 27, 2015 6:19 am

Juliette to Ellie
"I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars"

by **Kieran Richards** Tue Mar 03, 2015 12:47 pm

Kieran to Andy
"When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning."

by **Ellie Volkova** Tue Mar 10, 2015 10:29 pm

Ellie to Kieran
"I just made cupcakes... Vodka icing. Results in the morning."

Ellie to Patrick
"I want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons."

Ellie to Alona
"I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake."

Ellie to Michelle
"How the hell did we end up at a strip club last night?! We started the night playing bingo at a church."

by **Kieran Richards** Fri Mar 13, 2015 11:14 am

Kieran to Ellie
"Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today."

Kieran to Andy
"What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?"

by **Ellie Volkova** Sun Mar 15, 2015 11:10 pm

Ellie to Alona
"I wish dancing around my dorm room in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise."

Ellie to Patrick
"You wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere."

Ellie to Kieran
"I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet"."

by **Andy O'Hara** Tue Mar 31, 2015 6:36 pm

Andy to Kieran
"I just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket. And a plastic mermaid in my pants..."

Andy to Alona
"Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty."

by **Ellie Volkova** Sat Apr 25, 2015 11:24 pm

Ellie to Michelle
"Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here."

Ellie to Kieran
"How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?"

Ellie to Alona
"It's all fun and games until you're in the alumni campus center puking on the floor."

by **Juliette Carlson** Tue May 12, 2015 5:03 am

Julie to Ellie
"Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen"

by **Ellie Volkova** Mon Jun 22, 2015 2:32 pm

Ellie to Julie
"So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building."

Ellie to Alona
"In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent White Russian."

Ellie to Patrick
"Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup and when I was done I flipped it without even thinking."

Ellie to Michelle
"Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I'm in love."

by **Patrick Noel** Sat Mar 18, 2017 8:38 am

Patrick to Ellie

"I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!"

Patrick to Emma

"I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it. "

Patrick to Juliette

"If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time."

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